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My wife showed me a picture of my daughter's vagina.
Let's take a look at that sentence again, shall we? I think it may be the first time in the history of the written word that this particular combination of words has been put together. Although some of the porn spam I've received lately comes very, very close. Anyway, it's true. My wife did show me a picture of my daughter's vagina and you can see it here. Or it might possibly be the Shroud of Turin. In my wife's womb. So it's official; we're finally having a girl. Claudine showed me the ultrasound which proves (to her, anyway) that we are having a girl. I say that because I stil think the ultrasound thing is a big scam. I really can't see anything when I look at the things. Whenever we go (and have gone) to these scans, Claudine, the scan tech, and the doctor all keep talking about the things they see on that screen. They're all "hey, look at the fluid in the bladder" and "there's the four chambers of the heart". I'm squinting at the screen trying to see anything. With Jake, I thought it was one of those "magic picture" things that was all the rage a few years ago. I would squint and unfocus my eyes trying to see anything.. a pony... a sailboat... anything. Claudine would walk out of the office all mushy with the promise of the life growing within her, and I would walk out with a big headache. Then with Bobby, I thought it was just a big goof at my expense. Kinda like the emperor's new clothes. Everyone would ooh and ahh over the image of the developing baby, and I just went along when they said. I'm sure when Claudine went back into the office, they all laughed at what they were able to make me say I saw. This time, I didn't even care. I openly scoffed at the whole thing. I went so far as to impune the entire ultrasound industry. I told the scan tech she was preying on the emotions of hormone-crazed moms and dopey dads. Well, maybe I just said that last part in my head, I really can't remember. But anyway, I've been told those three lines in the ultrasound are an actual vagina.
So I did it. Or, more accurately, my sperm did it. Once it left my body, I really didn't have much say in the matter. I wanted a girl the first time and I got Jake. I wanted a girl the second time and I got Bobby. And both are ok.... I guess. But now I have my girl. I don't know why I wanted a girl so much. I think it was because I always wanted a sister when I was growing up. It was just me and my older brother - no girlies around. Except my mom. Which really doesn't count as a "girly". I think this will really shake up the dynamic of our family. I'm imagining two older brother teasing their little sister and I'm imagining a little girl ratting on all the stuff their older brothers do. Of course, I'm also imagining two devoted brothers who will protect their baby sister from everything from bullies to bad boyfriends. And I'm imagining a little girl who will just adore her two older brothers. All in all, I think it will make for a nice 18 to 20 years.
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