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You'd think that with an entry title like that, this would be about all the things that I notice about my family or life that I treasure but normally overlook in the busy hustle-and-bustle of everyday life. Well, you would think that wouldn't you. But no. This is about all The Simpsons - The Complete Second Season DVD and all the scenes that Jake and I are seeing for the first time because the episodes have been cut for syndication.
It really is amazing for me to see these scenes from episodes that I have been watching for years. Every time it happens, I yell in a voice both awed and annoyed, "I've never seen this before. I've never seen this!" What bothers me is how often it happens. We were watching the original Treehouse of Terror episode last night and in the first vignette (I've never used the word vignette before. I just thought you might want to know that you've been part of a "first" here at LS Place) called "Bad Dream House" there was an entire scene missing. I can understand sometimes when they need to cut A LINE OR TWO or perhaps a throwaway scene with no dialog. But c'mon, an entire scene? To refresh, the Simpsons buy a house and it turns out to be haunted (duh). In the course of dealing with the house, the discover there is an Indian Burial Ground in the basement. Complete with tombstones and stuff. Funny ones. Funny ones I've never read before, dammit! And then Homer gets on the phone and has an extended conversation with the real estate agent about said burial ground. And it's funny too! Dammit, I'm being deprived of my syndicated funny quotient! At the end of this vignette (!), the house decides that it can't exist with the Simpsons living inside it, so it implodes a la Poltergeist. I thought that was humorous in itself, but I never knew about the deeper tie-in to that movie before.
In the episode One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish Homer thinks he eats some poisonous blowfish sushi. Dr. Habet tells him he has 24 hours to live. So Homer makes a list of things he wants to do on his last day alive. One of those things is TELL OFF BOSS. Well, every time I've seen that episode, that line is mysteriously crossed off his list as he moves on to the other things at the bottom of the list. Only last night did I get to see Homer actually tell off Mr. Burns. Because, you see, it has been cut out of every version I've ever seen of it. Stop it people. I understand the need for cramming extra commercials in every spare second of television programming, but please DON'T do it during the Simpsons. Why should I be deprived of hearing the line "Wow, of all the luck. To think I almost died without telling the boss to eat my shorts." I mean, think about it. To think I almost died without ever seeing that particular scene of the Simpsons.
Oh and there's more. I could mention an extended version of Bart and Lisa singing "Theme From Shaft" in a karaoke bar. Or 10 deleted wails of "Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore". But I think I've made my point. The thing that nobody seems to realize here is that these episodes are ART. And as such they should not be tampered with. Do you want me cutting things willy-nilly from the Mona Lisa? I should think not. Well no matter, as long as there are insane consumers like me, they will keep bringing out complete seasons on DVD.
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