Today I went in for a sleep study. I reported to the office at 7:45 PM. There a technician used some sort of goopy paste and an abundance of gauze tape to attach 11 electrodes to various parts of my face. Then she strapped two velcro bands around my torso; one at my chest, the other at my stomach. She attacehd two EKG leads to either side of my chest (which involved cutting chest hairs - ouch!). Finally, two leads apiece were attached to the side of each calf. All these wires were plugged into a box about twice the size of a Palm Pilot and placed on the bed I was to sleep in. This box then was wired to a larger unit that rested on the night stand. Oh yeah, there was a spring loaded thingy about the size of a Zippo lighter that was clamped and taped onto my right pinky. Jeez, I remembered one more thing - she taped a contraption to my philtrum (the little channel under your nose and above your lip) that had two sensors going into my nostrils.
I was one of the most annoying experiences of my life. I was told that I should try to remain on my back for the entire night. Well, I don't sleep on my back (or, at least I dont fall asleep on my back - what happens after that I don't know). I usually fall asleep 5 to 10 minutes after shutting off the light. Well, she turned off the lights to my room at 10:30 PM and I just couldn't get comfortable. I started to itch everywhere because of the tape. I rubbed my nose and got the sensors rammed into my brain. I moved my legs and felt the tape rip the hairs out of my skin. But the most annoying thing of all was not being able to flex my pinky. I don't know why, but that really bothered me. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't roll onto either side because I was basically wired into place. These leads weren't very long and they pulled at me everytime I moved. I felt like that illustration in Gulliver's Travels where the Lilliputians have him completely staked to the ground, including his hair.
Now I am usually a very sound sleeper. I don't wake up for anything except the phone, my kids, or the alarm. But tonight I finally went to sleep around 11:45 PM and awoke again at 3:30 AM. Took another 15 minutes to get back to sleep. Woke at 4:40 AM. Took 15 minutes to get back to sleep. Was woken by the technician at 5:30 to remove all the hardware and end the study. Suffice to say, I was not well rested. I'm only hoping that I slept for a long enough duration to test me out so I won't have to do it again.
