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As I drove to work this morning I stared at the hole in the New York City Skyline. Has it been a year already? Have I really had 365 days to try to get used to those two giant building being missing? And I say try because every time I look at the skyline, the first thought that comes to mind is "they're gone."
The last time I saw the World Trade Center Towers as they were meant to be seen was one year ago today at around 8:00 in the morning. And sadly, I probably didn't notice them on a consious level. Driving over the hill on Route 80, the first thing you see is the Empire State Building. Then, after you clear some buildings on the right, the southern part of Manhattan emerges. By then you're taking in the skyline as a whole. The ESB and the WTC were the dominant figures, but still elements of a complete picture.
The last time I saw the World Trade Center Towers at all was approximately 2 1/2 hours later. Through the smoke and haze from the collapse of the South Tower, I watched the North Tower collapse. This was from the same vantage point, Route 80, but this time going the opposite way. Getting away from New York City. There is a point on Route 80 that curves south so that you can see New York City out the left hand side of you car windows. All the cars and trucks slowed to a crawl as we watched the tower start to collapse. We were all together on the road but all alone in our own vehicles. We shared the horrible experience but suffered through it by ourselves. Then as the road dips, some trees rise up to block the view east. When the road rose up again, the tower was gone.
New Jersey takes a lot of heat in today's popular culture. The state is the butt of many jokes. The state always is views as somehow less than desirable. The people are charactured in any number of derogitory ways. Many New Yorkers view New Jersey as a bratty wannabe. But among the many wonderful things that people don't know- or don't care to know - is that New Jersey always has the best view of the New York City Skyline. New Yorkers may have the actual buildings, but to really appreciate all that the skyline is, you have to be in New Jersey. Going to work on Monday mornings was always a little easier when you drove towards a row of giant diamonds reflecting the rising sun.
I didn't lose anyone in the attacks of 9/11. I wouldn't even begin to equate what I'm feeling with the feelings of the families and friends that are left behind by the victims of these disasters. But everyone has been effected by the events of a year ago. Some people are putting this event behind them. Some are just coming to terms with it now. Some are running from it still. I don't know where I fit into that. I think I'm still sorting it out. This is becoming disjointed because I have too many conflicting thoughts and emotions running through my head.
The skyline will always look wounded to me now. There will always be something missing from the southern tip of the island of Manhattan. No matter what replaces the World Trade Center Towers, I will always know what should be there.
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