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01/09/2003

Parking

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I have a fairly simple philosophy on parking a car in America. Obey the white lines. That's it. Just obey the white lines. Is that so hard? The white lines are there for a reason, people! If you want to park an automobile in a manner that is anyway remotely adhering to the concept of decency and goodness in this world, obey the white lines!

I don't understand why it is such a hard concept. But everytime I try to figure it out, the one reason I keep coming back to is simple laziness. People are basically lazy bastards. As with everything in life, there are some people who think that the world - or in this case, parking lot - revolves around them. Would you like to read about a few examples of parking offenses that drive me nuts? Why not, you've got nothing better to do.

I'll just be a minute These are the lazy people who pull there car into the fire lane. This is especially annoying in a strip mall parking lot. They can't possibly be bothered to actually walk across the lot, it's much easier to just park that car right in front of the door. I get this all the time at the neighborhood bagel store. It's either the yenta moms who stop their Mercedes in front of the door and send their kids into the store for bagels and coffee or it's landscaping or construction crews who park their truck in the way while they all climb out to stock up on food for the day. But no matter who it is, their actions just scream laziness to me. LAZINESS! Laziness and a sense of "I'm too important to park with the peons". I always look at them and chuckle visibly. They don't really seem to like that. Tee hee.

I'll just put it in Drive Didja ever start to pull into a parking spot and almost have your car dented in the front because someone is driving forward out of their space and coming out of the spot you are pulling into? Yeah, me too. I don't understand why people do this. It seems to me to be an amazingly dangerous thing to do. And all because people don't want to put their car in reverse, back out of their spot and then shifting into drive to get where they're going. And I've had the situation where the person across from me is getting into their car the same time I am and they will sit there and wait until I back out so they can pull forward through my space. Now I don't even move my car until they put their car in reverse and start moving backwards. There is a white line between us people, don't cross it. A relative of the drive-thru parker is the Gosh, my car is really long parker. This is the driver how pulls as far forward as he or she possibly can. Usually a '80 Cadillac or double cab pickup truck. Whatever it is, their front grille is clearly infringing on your personal parking space. Now the ass of your car or truck is hanging out because the long parker isn't aware of the size of their car.

In the Vicinity Now I don't know who to blame here sometimes. The vicinity parker may have their tire on the white lines or even over the line into the next space. And of course that makes your space very, very narrow. But I can't always blame the person next to me because the real culprit - the orignal vicinity parker - may be long gone. But the horrors they started may live on for hours depending on how busy the parking lot is. How hard is it to back up your car once and straighten up in the parking spot?