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Hi. Welcome to day three of our discussion of receiving three wishes. You'll thank me if you're ever faced with a dusty oil lamp that needs rubbing.
Wish Number 3: The Ability to Absorb knowledge from others.
This desire originally sprang from an old Teen Titans comic book. I don't even remember what the woman's name or main superpower was but one of her minor abilities was that she could "learn" a new language by kissing someone. I don't mean that she just learned some random language whenever she kissed someone. What happened was that when she found someone who knew a language that she didn't know, she could "learn" it just by kissing that person. As I remember it, the kiss had to be a pretty serious kiss. They never showed her kissing any other women, but hey, acquiring knowledge should always come before supposed societal taboos.
I don't know about accquiring knowledge through making out. I was thinking more about a handshake. Just a regular, friendly handshake. The trick is getting to the right hands to shake. If I could arrange a meeting with say, Eric Clapton, I could siphon off all his guitar playing knowledge. Not ability, mind you, just the knowledge. That way I wouldn't get completely spoiled and complacent and pathetic. I'd still have to practice technique and..... other guitar type stuff. But just instinctively knowing all the scales, fingering and... other, different guitar type stuff.
This wish would further allow me to segment all this knowledge. Because there would be nothing worse than meeting Eric Clapton and learning everything he knows about guitar playing and then meeting say.... Eddie Van Halen and having the two pools of knowledge warring in my head. I mean, what if everytime Eric Clapton's knowledge told me to bend a note a certain way and the Eddie's knowledge came along and told me to hammer on it instead. Then I sit there with my fingers trying to move in two different directions at the same time. Which I imagine could cause a pretty severe cramp. I throw this in because it would just be like a petty genie or that evil monkey's paw to allow me to gain all this knowledge and then have them drive me insane. But yeah, I'd line up Clapton, Van Halen, Beck, maybe dig up Jimmy Page. I would be a guitar god.
Then I would move on into the computer world. I'd line up a handshaking tour of Microsoft just to learn everything about all the various forms of Windows. Not only would I know how to program anything to work under Windows, I'd know all the stinkin' security holes that exist. I'd be able to get a job anywhere. Wait a minute. I'd have amazing guitar powers and I'm worried about a computer job? Wait a minute. I can manipulate time and I'm worried about a computer job? Just ignore that part about the job thing. Christ, I'm so embarassed. I'm such a geek.
But back to the wish. There really isn't any limit to what you could find out. Want to know about the technical aspects of directing a movie? find Lucas or Spielberg. Wait. Find a good director. Want to be a really good cook? Find a really good cook and shake their hand. Want to perform brain sugery? Find a really good brain surgeon and shake their hand. Make sure they take their gloves off. It doesn't work through the latex, it has to be skin to skin contact. Just to let you know.
So that's it. My three wishes. I think I could keep myself busy the rest of my life with those particular powers. Besides, it's not like it could really happen.
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